Countdown to Spit-Curls Split-up:
|
Hi! We're the Spit-Curls: The biggest commercial trend since the
Hoola Hoop! We are popular amongst little girls from the ages 5-12 years old! Our biggest hits are
"Wannapee", "Pray you'll have hair", "How much is 2 minus 1" and "Who do we think we are?".
Ever since our debut single we have been followed by hurdles of reporters trying to get a quote or picture of us. We know that all superstars like Michael Jetson and Maddona are unreachable for journalists so the first day we got famous we hired 6 bodyguards. They got only one assignment:"Keep every journalist away from us!". And it doesn't matter if they have an appointment with us or not! Now everybody thinks we have a lot to say; but the truth is: we don't. Every popular group fires the manager. The Beatles did it, so we did it to. Simon Föller was a great manager, maybe the best ever, but hey, the rules are the rules: "GET OUTTA HERE!". Popular groups like Milla Vanilla were to good to sing themselves. That's the same for us: We are such good singers that if we'd sing ourselves, nobody would believe that's is actually us singin. So we hired Aaron Karter an The Hanson-brothers to record our songs. Now everybody actually believes it's us! And nobody ever notices that we're playbacking! We chose our names very carefully. Janice and Sue both wanted to be called Mel, so we decided that they could be Mel B. (as in Black!) and Mel C. (as in Cockroach!). Annie wanted to be called Emma, because her grandmother was called that way. Margreth wanted to be called Victoria (like the queen). And Edward wanted his name to be Geri (like the leader of Take This!). Nobody ever noticed that Geri is a drag-queen, we can't believe they can't tell! Well, like every popular group we are gonna split up. The Beatles did it, Take This did it, The Rolling Stones should do it! On this page you can see our: "Countdown to Spit-Curls Split-up", with other words: In how many days are you gonna get rid of us. Till then we are gonna try to get as many cash out of our fame as we can get! So every company that wants to pay us to promote their products can! Pepsi or Coca Cola? What the hell! We'll do them both! Make a movie? No!!! we'll release the sequel of the movie the same week! And when it's all over? We're all gonna go solo! So you'll hear 5 times as much noise on the radio as you do now! Oh, here's our ride... and shit! It's a Mersedes, so it might be our last! Love,
The Spit-Curls! PS. Use your Curlpower! Feel the Force!
|
©97 Hatchoo!